You must be AI generated

You can't convince me you're a normal human if you do these deliberately

Sep 25, 2024

As one feels stuck in their writing, the only right thing to do is create a an abominated listicle just to get their creative juices flowing once again like a 7/11 slurpee machine.

Funny enough, in order to create lists like these I have to think long and hard because all of a sudden my brain decides to blank out on every single thought I’ve had ever. So I’ve found that it is more efficient to start a note on my phone and keep adding to it as I remember other facts to add on.

Anyway, below is a short list of things I’m sure people lie about actually enjoying and simultaneously make me believe they’re AI generated:

Preferring Apple Music over Spotify

Listen, I don’t care if Spotify is tracking our moves and patterns and preferences (and you only realized that after their Spotify Wrapped campaign was launched). Spotify is way more elite than Apple Music in many ways, including the app’s interface, the selection of playlists, how fun it is sharing your playlists with others, being an underrated form of stalking, so on and so forth. If I see you posting an Instagram story sharing a song from Apple Music my day is ruined.

Owning a Cybertruck

Speaking of ruining someone’s day, the second I see a cybertruck meandering around the streets… that’s it. I find them so obnoxious to lay my eyes on because they stick out like such a sore thumb. Also, what do you mean you could have gotten a nice ass SUV and chose to get a Cybertruck instead??? I’ll actually never get the thought process even if someone tried really hard to explain it to me. This whole scenario is such an ordeal and I don’t see myself changing my mind about it - sorry!

Ordering oysters (and/or caviar)

Euro summer comes around, you catch at least 3 planes to get to Mykonos, your villa is on the opposite side of the island to Alemagou and Principote but you are very adamant on going for the experience and spend at least $200 on a taxi there and back. You are tired, hot, sweaty, hair is in a slick back bun because that is the only possible option, and downright carsick at this point. You weren’t able to make a reservation in advance so you get there late enough for lunch but early enough for dinner and pray that you get a table with a decent view. After all this hassle, you are telling me your first order of business is to get a plate of raw oysters decorated with crushed ice just so it looks nice on your story??? Enough said.

Pouring milk before cereal

Nothing screams more AI generated than doing something of this sort. Do you pour your creamer before coffee? Do you pour orange juice before the champagne? So why on earth would you think about doing that with your cereal. Milk should be meticulously poured after cereal so that depending on the amount of cereal in the bowl, you get similar sized spoon portions and both the cereal and the milk end at the same time and you are left with basically no milk waste. I hope I made myself clear.

Having revenge bedtime procrastination

Last but not least, I’ll never understand someone who chooses to be a night owl and sleep ridiculously late. Matter of fact, I can justify someone having a silly 5am morning routine way more than someone going to bed at 3am every night. I’ve always been a sleepy girl and you’ll never catch me going to bed past 10pm on a week night. There’s honestly nothing better than a good night’s sleep so you wake up feeling refreshed and well rested the next day. I’ve seen people around me fix up their bedtime schedule and it’s working great for them. If you still believe going to sleep to the sound of birds chirping is ideal, you already know what I think about you…

Can you recall any other silly things people do that just don't sit right with you? I want to hear more!